「這是一首凡士林樂團的歌，我想…..嗯，這是一首…..描述基督徒的歌吧!但我們想表演這首歌…..」
1994年，Kurt Cobain 在紐約的不插電演唱會中，重新演繹了 The Vaselines (凡士林樂團)在 1980 年代所寫的”Jesus Doesn’t Want Me for a Sunbeam”(耶穌，別向我要束陽光)，在表演前，他下意識的說了這一段話。
這或許只是 Cobain 對於歌曲內容的描述吧!但我認為，這也或多或少透露出他對於這首歌有一些感觸。今天，我想來試著推敲這首歌的創作背景與定義，再回頭來看 Cobain 這段話所隱含的意思。
The Vaselines 是一組來自蘇格蘭的民謠搖滾樂團，成軍於 1980 年代的愛丁堡。”Jesus Doesn’t Want Me for a Sunbeam”收錄在他們 “Son Of A Gun” 這張專輯中。嚴格來說，這不是首無中生有的歌，更精確的說，這是一首反諷的歌曲。
它的靈感其實是來自一首著名教會聖歌 “I’ll Be a Sunbeam” (又稱”Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam”)，大多都是由兒童所獻唱。這首歌的年代甚早，它是由十九世紀末一位美國籍的年輕女性 Nellie Talbot 所寫成，之後由著名出版家、教堂歌手 E. O. Excell 於 1900 年譜曲而成。歌曲內容鼓勵人們無時無刻都要積極的榮耀上帝，時時刻刻為祂服務、為祂活在天堂，是一首相當正向、陽光的歌曲。全曲將耶穌設定為第三人稱，強調為耶穌施展光明動能的必要性。更精確的來說，我們是耶穌的子民，為祂奉獻、成為照亮祂的那束陽光。
Nellie Talbot – I’ll Be a Sunbeam
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam,
To shine for Him each day;
In every way try to please Him,
At home, at school, at play.
Refrain:
A sunbeam, a sunbeam,
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam;
A sunbeam, a sunbeam,
I’ll be a sunbeam for Him.
Jesus wants me to be loving,
And kind to all I see;
Showing how pleasant and happy,
His little one can be.
I will ask Jesus to help me
To keep my heart from sin;
Ever reflecting His goodness,
And always shine for Him.
I’ll be a sunbeam for Jesus,
I can if I but try;
Serving Him moment by moment,
Then live for Him on high.
1987 年，The Vaselines 將這首歌作了截然不同的改變。歌詞的安排很難人尋味，
因為這活脫是一段對耶穌的告白，而且是一段相當不客氣的告白!從第一句「耶穌，別向我要束陽光」開始，每一句歌詞都在諷刺基督教固有的信仰模式。嚴格來說，這是首帶有強烈個人主觀意識的歌曲，它強調「陽光不是為我這樣的人所設計的」，換句話說，這看起來是首反基督的歌曲、但又帶點自我嘲弄的意味。後段的歌詞中，不斷重複著「別期待我說謊、別期待我會哭泣、別期待我會為你而死」，彷彿這些舉動都是毫無意義的行為一般。
The Vaselines – ” Jesus don’t want me for a sunbeam”
Cause sunbeams are not made like me,
And don’t expect me to cry,
For all the reasons you had to die,
Don’t ever ask your love of me.
Don’t expect me to lie,
Don’t expect me to cry,
Don’t expect me to die for thee.
個人認為，這首歌在某種層面上宣示著一種精神信仰觀的重新思考，亦即宗教與人們之間，究竟該用甚麼樣的方式互動 ? 或許，對 The Vaselines 而言，個人的感知或許遠比為耶穌奉獻還來的實際吧!
那對 Cobain 而言呢? 他沒有說得很明白，但從他會想去重新詮釋這首歌的動機來看，或許 Cobain 也想藉由這首歌，去不著痕跡的透露出，他與 The Vaselines 間，對於個人、以及宗教認知有著相似的看法吧!
NIRVANA – ” Jesus don’t want me for a sunbeam”
Jesus, don’t want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me [Alt: Sunbeams are laughing at me]
Don’t expect me to cry,
For all the reasons you had to die
Don’t ever ask your love of me
Don’t expect me to cry
Don’t expect me to lie
Don’t expect me to die for me
Jesus, don’t want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me [Alt: Sunbeams are laughing at me]
Don’t expect me to cry,
For all the reasons you had to die
Don’t ever ask your love of me
[x2]
Don’t expect me to cry
Don’t expect me to lie
Don’t expect me to die for me
Jesus, don’t want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me [Alt: Sunbeams are laughing at me]
Don’t expect me to cry,
For all the reasons you had to die
Don’t ever ask your love of me
Don’t expect me to cry
Don’t expect me to lie
Don’t expect me to die
Don’t expect me to cry
Don’t expect me to lie
Don’t expect me to die for me
文/西瓜
圖片來源:nodepression
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